I have a "first-world" problem. I spent years not really processing faces. Not looking at faces and more. (Catholic elementary/middle school trauma).

My (old) face was always ... there. I never thought of myself as good looking or ugly.

Fast-forward I have transitioned, I have been on E for 6 years, I have had FFS. My surgeon says I look good. Various lovers have said that I look good.

I find myself looking at the mirror and still feel disconnected from the new face.

I told my wife recently:

I believe that other people believe that I am pretty. I don't believe that I am pretty. I don't know what pretty looks like when it is my face.

If people had told me I was ugly I would have also believed them. It feels very weird to not be able to judge my relative "hotness".

Is anyone else so disconnected from your face and appearance?

Does anyone have any ideas for how to feel connected and positive about your own appearance?