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My gf (21F) and I (24M) have been in a long-distance r/s for about 2 months, and I want to help her find a job here in Singapore so that she can make more money and try to apply for a degree in her relevant field. She is Malaysian and never been to Singapore. My gf is aiming to be a lawyer (specifically a conveyancing lawyer) and I want to support her as much as I can. She just graduated from her law diploma this year and planned to actually get her degree in Malaysia before she met me. Another reason why I really feel that she should come over is due to her bad experiences with guys around her growing up because of how perverse and insensitive they are when making sexual remarks or comments, and that's not the worst part, but we're glad and fortunate the worst of the worst was avoided (almost got r***ed by her childhood friend recently while we just started dating). I've always been very concerned and worried about her wellbeing, safety and security even before we got together, thus I brainstormed a careful and meticulous plan for her to come to Singapore for work and live with me sharing rent together. There are some complications regarding her side of family and her own desire to try and please them, even though we both know that it'll be safer to be here in Singapore with having far lesser chance to experience unwarranted dirty behavior. I've been doing a lot of research like the kind of jobs she can try to apply, what kind of companies or firms are out there, everything about getting a law degree with honors, so on. What do you guys think?
Like all the other comments, please:
Ask her what she really wants
Date her longer than 2 months (personally I would date around 9 months minimum) before thinking of something as drastic as this
Once 1 and 2 are done, and if she does want to come to Singapore then consider checking the Singaporean Legal Profession Act 1966 for recognised degrees and qualifications. Singapore is a stickler for qualifications so better read properly to see if she even has a recognised degree.
Also, what makes you think that she will have a lesser risk of experiencing "unwarranted dirty behaviour" in Singapore than in Malaysia? We from Malaysia also hear about upskirt photos being taken in Singaporean unis.
Newsflash: Hamsaps exist all over the world. The only way she can help herself is to take precautions and try to identify signs of sexual harrassment early on. (No, not victim blaming, just trying to be realistic here).
Honestly, I think you're too gung-ho and are jumping the gun with this plan of yours:
She's been dating you for 2 months
She is 21 years old (still in her student years)
She has family in Malaysia, do they know about the planned move to Singapore? What if they disapprove? Will you risk alienating her from her only family?
Will you support her living expenses in the early months? Her family certainly isn't going to help if they disapprove of the Singapore move.
If you want her to move in with you now, then consider thinking about how she would study in Singapore (and who bears her exorbitant Singapore uni student fees).
- Malaysian law differs from Singapore law on conveyancing. To get into a decent conveyancing firm in Singapore, she would need prior conveyancing experience in Malaysia to even stand a decent chance against Singaporean graduates who know Singapore law better. (Source: I practice conveyancing law in Malaysia)
Given all the above, her moving in with you at this stage is probably going to be less than ideal.
But if you are going to have her move in with you later once she graduates and works a couple of years in a law firm, then it would probably be a much better idea.
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