I never had a dead bedroom, it was just in intensive care. I always owned the finances and made most of the decisions. After kids, my wife did handle most of their shit (doctors, day care, school) but always deferred to me for final decisions. My biggest flaw was not being a 100% shitty man, I just had no idea what it meant to lead a family (and be a "real" man). The matriarchy ruled my family growing up - so there were no real male role models for me to emulate growing up.

Which brings me to my question, how many guys here have had a "Main Event"? I am close to two years in and I have not had one and don't think I ever will. I don't think my wife or I are snowflakes, but she's always wanted me to lead. I have been an "okay" leader and a slightly shitty husband. So my turnaround has been less about taking the reigns but doing it better. I got chubby, but I was not a fat slob. While it has taken some time for my wife to "trust" me again, our early fights were not been about me leading. They have been primarily about her feeelz and my frame (not her words, but my interpretation).

From my time here it seems like a LOT of guys pose the Main Event as a required step in the journey. I am not saying that my boat has not been rocked - but nothing close to a main event. Just wanted to get a sense of what other guys have experienced.

It seems like a lot of newbies here are seeking out a Main Event and going Rambo to make it happen. Nah, I don't have stats on that prior statement, just a feelzing.