TL;DR: Wife is claiming for more time with the family impacting my hobby. I countered with A&A but it doesn't seem to be going too well. Threw in logic for good measure, with radio silence since. A few pointers appreciated

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I'm married with three kids, 4yo, 2yo, and 9mo. From Mid October to end of March I captain a competitive sailing team which races on every sunday with the exception of Christmas. I'm usually by the boat at 11am and only back by 6/6:30PM.

This obviously takes a toll on my wife, as it means that most weekends in the summer (Australia) are spent where we live, rather than having weekends away. She brings it up every now and then, but I usually shrug it off. After all, I've done this since I was 11, not about to change now.

At the time my youngest was born, she asked me if we could have one family weekend a month, and that I'd take time out of sailing to meet this. Although I'm always very dedicated to sailing, never missing out a weekend, I agreed for the sake of the extra burden on her it is caring for three young children.

A couple of times, she asks about when we are going to have a family weekend, to which I respond "just tell me when you want to have one, and I'll make it happen". In typical fashion, the request with an actual date never comes.

So this week, after I had announced that there were going to be races on an annual holiday (which has always happened in the 7 years I've had this team), she again asks about the family weekend. The difference this time is that it is now entirely my responsibility of nominating the weekend.

Five days of not speaking to me ensure, to which I don't respond. Speak to her in a normal fashion, go do other stuff when she responds with single syllables. Last night, she decides to get up off the bed to sleep on the couch after 20min of laying side-by-side without speaking.

This morning, I get a tirade of an email, tearing me down and threatening to fly back to our home country with the kids. I respond with A&A, joking about her wanting to solve issues while not speaking to me, and playing off change of rules as a proof of valour that a dame would request a knight. And so I set a date (possibly failing a compliance test. Let me know!).

She doesn't seem amused, still offering up thinly veiled threats of walking away, which again I ignore.

In a last exchange, I explained to her that we have actually had family weekends every month with the exception of November. This is because in October, I only started on the 11th, and so had the 4th as a family weekend. We wrapped up the year on the 13th of December, and so had two on that month, and then another on the 3rd of January. I've since offered up one at the end of February (not important race), and another at the end of March (no sailing - Easter).

She hasn't responded since, and neither have I sought to speak with her. My instinct says that she is still pissed off, and that these weekends actually don't count because they didn't keep me from sailing.

So the question is, how do I play this off? Obviously I'm going to be portrayed as the bad guy who abused the rules, rather than the one who sought to make the best of the situation while keeping the agreement and continuing to sail (a win-win in my book).

Do I continue to A&A, not taking the situation seriously? Do I call her out on her bluff of going back to our home country, or not sleeping home this night?

Any pointers appreciated.