When I masturbate I pretty much always think about having sex with men while in my female form. The pleasure I get from Autogynephillic fantasy vastly outweighs what I get from heterosexual fantasy.

Last night, instead of thinking about the mutuality of the sex act, or the physical sensation of being penetrated, for the first time I mentally focused on myself as a woman that I'm attracted to.

What this looked like in my own mind was picturing myself as this woman and almost entirely focusing on my own body, how I was being treated and how I felt, with only occasional glimpses of a man dominating me sexually In other words, I was almost entirely focused on picturing myself (as a woman).

After orgasming, I felt what I can best describe as catharsis. It felt like years of sexual confusion and feelings of male inadequacy (I'm not sissyposting right now, I promise) somehow miraculously resolved themselves. The experience somehow felt, for lack of a better word, normal, or even wholesome, as if for the first time in my life I had "real sex" instead of trying to simultaneously get off while desperately seeking validation from women.

I feel like autogynephilia is my main sexual orientation. It's hard to wrap my head around this because the idea of AGP being its own separate orientation is so unorthodox to me. I was raised in a world where I only understood heterosexuality, while barely knowing that homosexuality existed (far away from me) and probably couldn't even consciously access bisexuality as a concept. In addition, transexuality may have well not been real to me until like 3 years ago, being that I had heard of it before but for some reason it never registered in mind (thanks Blaire White).

Although I think AGP is unique in that it seems to need at least some sort of heterosexuality to feed off of (unlike being strictly straight or gay) I think for some of us it's our main sexual orientation.

I would like to hear your stories about discovering that AGP/AGAMP/AAP is your (main) orientation.