I'm secretly scared, that I may never find someone that I feel is worth my time. To have high standards feels like the right thing to do, especially when I can offer so much in return. I want us to feel like we can take on anything together. While I can totally respect we may never be evenly matched in wit, I still want to do everything in my power to bring out the best in my partner, and the same in what she does for me. I am tired of fearing of sounding arrogant for knowing my strengths, and how desperately I just want to be understood by someone else. There is a deep residual frustration and longing that I have, that ultimately gives me little hope for the future. There are of course girls interested in me, but I worry that I won't be able to stay interested, simply because of how blatantly disjointed I feel when I try to express my passions to them. Why don't I see the light in other people's eyes? Why have I been reduced to immediately looking for something else when I lose interest so quickly. Part of me wants to say it's because of how badly I want to find someone who will certainly have my back, and I theirs. There is just easy way to say that a majority of people bore me, despite being open minded and seeing where things go, I wonder if I'm just doomed to be alone for the rest of my life. I also realize that seeing where things go and exploring my options are 100% okay, it's part of being an adult and being mature. So tell me why do I feel so miserable in the company of people I don't feel at home with. Even if I'm doing my best to live my life, and work on myself, I feel like nothing seems to be panning out. I try to be wholesome, and polite, and even if people get pissed off at me sometimes because they don't understand what I'm saying. I'm not saying I'm 100% right about things, but people fly off the handle far too quickly to say that their points are correct. The bottom lie is that I'm frustrated, and I have been for a very long time.