1. My first Asheville winter. I was on my way home from work, and figured I’d stop at the West Asheville Ingles to grab a few things for dinner. I had heard it was going to snow, but honestly I didn’t think twice about it. As soon as I walk in, I can tell something is wrong. I make my usual trip to the dairy aisle and then cut around the back of the store; I start noticing the strange things, and an eerie lack of people.

First: No cheese, no eggs. Second: No ground beef. None. Third: There’s a bird flying around. Fourth: Someone has crashed their (now abandoned) cart into the shelves, and there are jugs of Arizona Iced Tea pouring all over the floor. No one cares. Five: No bacon.

Finally, I arrive to the produce section, where there are people. ALL THE PEOPLE. I’m standing there trying to take it all in, and clearly must have had a shocked looked on my face. This older guy walks up and stands next to me, watching the same thing I’m watching and then just laughs and says

“Aw- I remember when I first moved here. You must be from a place where it actually snows.”

We chatted for a little while about why people had decimated the mushrooms first, and were buying all the foods that you can’t cook if the power goes out.

Anyway. If you’re worried about it, buy some food that you can eat if your power goes out, which is really the biggest concern if you’re snowed in. And be nice to the people at ingles who have to deal with this shit every year.