I was just walking my dog down by Kenilworth Lake, and I comes around the bend on Lakewood, when suddenly, there is this tan, lithe, cat-like shape that flashes across the road. I made sure to get out my paw print guide, and got down on my hands and knees and found a perfect match with the mountain lion paw print!

Then, I opened my Merlin bird app and waited for a mountain lion call to ring out. Sure enough, a few seconds after I hit "record" I heard a perfect 1:1 mating call ring out through the forest. I carefully followed the big cat into the woods, and about 10 ft down the trail, I spotted it, but not before it spotted me!

It turned around, and it almost felt like it was posing, I got such a perfect picture of it. It looked me dead in the eyes.

But that's not all! Next, it urinated right on the trail! And then you won't believe it, it decided to leave a stool sample right next to the urine! Luckily, I had my test tubes on me, which I always keep handy, and I was able to collect samples a few minutes after the encounter.

It then proceeded to scratch a tree nearby, before suddenly collapsing from a spontaneous heart attack, corpse and all but not before it uttered these words: "I am not the only mountain lion in these mountains. There are many of us, many of whom are black. We have been here the whole time, I was never someone's pet. Big Fish and Wildlife don't want you to know this".

I'd love to provide proof, but reddit isn't letting me upload!