I read a post on LGBTforeveralone and it sparked a question. I did some searches and all I could really find were articles about people complaining about their sexless marriages. I’m a cis gay man and I understand my perspective is skewed and wanted ask someone who identifies as asexual.

What’s the expectation in a partner from an asexual individual?

I always interpreted/imagined asexual individuals just had really good friends(by no means devaluing the relationship). For example, I love my best friend, feel love for them, but no desire to “make love” with them, and what separates an asexual individual from me is in addition they have no desire to make love with anyone.

In my mind asexual couples are best friends that share their intimate lives with one another and that sounds awesome. So to me, if an asexual individual is in a relationship and their partner wants to have sex. The equivalent would be me trying to get my straight best friend to have sex with me, another man.

So if an asexual person isn’t sexually active with their partner who is sexual and expects them to be monogamous, is that fair? Also, I understand their partner would be aware , so maybe I shouldn’t say fair but realistic. For me a huge part of sexual fulfillment is being desired. I don’t see a sexual person being happy with always announcing they want sex.

I by no means feel a good relationship is solely based on sex. I mean, I’ve had sex with people I had no emotions for, only an itch to scratch. At the same time I have friends, I truly love but no desire to have sex with.

Here is the post that sparked my questions