Obviously you're valid and you exist, but I just don't understand.

From my understanding, kinks are inherently sexual. Even if the actions from the kink don't involve what would be considered as "sex" per se, to the participants, they still seem like sex acts, no? And therefore, if you're attracted to your kinks, which are by definition sexual in nature, how it that not sexual attraction? I believe you guys when you say it isn't; what am I missing?

Not a real resource, sure, but looked up Kink on Wikipedia, and it concurs that kinks are inherently sexual (bolding is my own): "In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies... to contrast such behaviour with "straight" or "vanilla" sexual mores and proclivities. It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behaviour."

Dankeschoen.