CW: Describing genital functions and what I call sexual attraction feels like. Sometimes I may sound objectifying, though that is ignoring how I see them as a whole human being– I'm only highlighting this one aspect of them that is relevant to this post.

Background: I grew up thinking I was heterosexual, then Evan Edinger's video made me think I was demisexual as it resonated with me, then after reading and posting a little on AVEN and watching Ash Hardell's series, I thought I was heterosexual & demiromantic, then after reading and posting on here, I thought I was asexual and alloromantic, then heterosexual and aromantic, and now I think I'm just heterosexual and hetero-allo-romantic. Which is to say... I have no fk'n clue. Also, good to note that I have never had a partner or have had sex, and for many reasons, probably won't for a good amount of time.

START HERE--> Here's how I often think of my sexual attraction:

I though I knew what this was, and that I experienced this. Sure, I didn't look at someone and think, "I want to have sex with them," but that's true of most allo people, I thought, and that I would have that urge 'in the moment.' I did, however, see certain people and think of them as hot, as in "I want to see them naked." I also got aroused looking at them, if I'm understanding what that is, which now I'm also confused about. When I say I get aroused by looking at them, I mean that because I am looking at them and find them "hot," I can get an erection and have this nearly-all-consuming craving to want to look again, look more, see more of them, want to touch them... just the act of sex doesn't come to mind immediately. I even masturbate to fantasies I imagine of them fulfilling kinks / fetishes of mine, and while none of them include sex in any way, they still would be very NSFW and would be what a lot of what would be considered "foreplay."

So, I don't really think about having sex with them, but I have this feeling, which I've been calling arousal. Is that right? And is it sexual attraction because I can get aroused (as described above) from looking at a specific target?

TL;DR: I'm not sure if what I experience call sexual attraction actually is sexual attraction, nor if what I experience and call arousal actually is arousal.