I know why, sort of. Because having sex is how we’ve reproduced and kept our species alive, so it’s engrained in most people’s brains and it works for them.

But I just.. ugh. I don’t get it. It tires me out and just makes me upset trying to understand it. People are constantly trying to hook up, or think that I want to have sex with them, and I just don’t, and it’s starting to just upset me. Especially when I’m getting close with someone, and it SUCKS.

For those of us “hopeless romantics”, or even people who get that emotional connection toward a partner, you know when we were kids watching kids shows, and characters would have the most pure, heart-warming moments with their love interests?

Laying together and talking, watching a movie cuddled up on the couch, laying on the grass to watch the stars, going on a walk and holding hands, just doing activities together, laughing together, smiling at each other, the pure touch, a kiss on the forehead, the friendship, trust, and emotional connection they’d have for each other.

Those are the things I crave and want in life with a partner, I could completely disregard sex. I don’t know why those things seem to “lead to sex”, or that sex is constantly the end goal when you’re with a partner. I am so sick of that expectation, I don’t get anything out of it except anxiety and disappointment.

I feel so alone with that, and like I’ll never find a partner that understands, where I don’t need to be afraid of that expectation. I want to be able to hold someone and be close without having it taken the wrong way. I feel so hopeless about it. :(