I (18MtF) am asexual and childfree. My stepdad (59M) has always been ok-ish with this until about 2 months ago, only making the occasional comment, but ever since I met another asexual person, he’s started being extra weird about it. It should be noted that he does not accept my gender identity, so he’s been interacting with me as if I am a cisgender man.

A couple months ago, an asexual girl approached me and we exchanged email addresses, later exchanging phone numbers, and are getting to know each other at the moment. So far, we are nothing more than just acquaintances, but she has mentioned the desire for a non-sexual romantic relationship.

My stepdad does not know about that last part, as I don’t think my future relationships should be any of his business, but as soon as I met her, I informed my stepdad that she was asexual so he wouldn’t be weird and tell me that I should still have sex with a future partner to keep them around (I know that some asexuals don’t mind and can even enjoy sex, but I’m personally sex-averse, but he doesn’t seem to care and still makes those comments anyways). He then made a comment about how “there will be no accidents and [we] would only have sex to reproduce”. I hadn’t even told him about any kind of romantic intentions from either of us, as the only desires expressed by each other at the time were for friendship. He also knows that I’m adamantly childfree, but felt the need to make that comment anyway (for those that don’t know, childfree means you currently have no children, and never want children under any circumstances).

A few weeks later he initiated a very uncomfortable, 2 hour conversation about how she was sexually attracted to me (he has never even met her), and how asexuals never want to date anyone and how a relationship without sex is just a friendship (despite the fact that I tried explaining to him that sexual and romantic attraction are two separate things, and he has accepted that in the past). He also tried convincing me that people don’t have sex for pleasure and that the only reason to have sex is to reproduce (which is rich coming from someone with no biological children of his own and a body count of 64, a detail he told me a few years ago).

I didn’t talk to her for a few weeks after that conversation, but I saw her at my college campus a couple of weeks ago and we talked some more. The topic of asexuality came up and she mentioned that she was sex-repulsed and wants a sexless relationship, but I told her I want to get to know her better as a friend first, something I still haven’t told my stepdad, because again, it’s none of his business. Regardless, he found out that I was talking to her again and mentioned that men and women can be just friends (as if I didn’t know that), but at some point a few years from now, she may need “intimacy” from me, and that she’ll appreciate it from me even more since she knows that I’m asexual.

He fully accepted my childfree status for about 5 days, but in that time he also insisted that I am aromantic and “never want a girlfriend” because you have to have sex with someone for them to be your girlfriend (even though about 75% of asexuals are not aromantic, but he doesn’t seem to care about that fact). I expressed a few days later that I felt lonely because I don’t really have any friends at the moment, and he told me that me feeling lonely might just be my body is telling me “it’s mating time” (yes, he used those exact words), and that I may not be asexual because I didn’t hang out with many girls while going through puberty so I wasn’t exposed to their pheromones, and that their pheromones will make me want to have sex with them (I looked this up, and there isn’t even any definitive evidence that humans have sex pheromones).

It feels like he’s being really weird about sex and having children, and that he just can’t seem to accept that not everyone wants sex or children, and he especially can’t seem to understand that it’s possible for some people to be happy with a sexless relationship that’s more than just a friendship. He’s made weird comments here and there for a few years since he found out that I’m asexual and childfree, but it’s just gotten so much more worse since I met another asexual person, it’s almost like it wasn’t real to him until then.

Either way, these comments just feel really inappropriate and weird, and I’d say that it’s almost bordering on sexual harassment at this point. And moving out isn’t an option, as I rely on him financially and for access to education. I’m just getting tired of it and feel a need to isolate myself from him, which is easier said than done. Sorry for the long post, I just needed a place to vent. I’ve posted this both here and on r/childfree, as I just really needed to get this off my chest. I don’t really know how to end this post, so I guess that this will be the last sentence.