This morning, a friend who's a very ravenous allosexual posted a meme about the health benefits of frequent sex. As a tongue in cheek reply, I posted "For allosexuals and demisexuals, sure. Not so much for aces. Regardless, here's to your health!"

This was followed by a response by someone purporting to be an "understanding allosexual" chastising me for promoting a stereotype about asexuals and going on to lecture me about how asexuals have libido, too. Of course I know that there are those who do, and at varying degrees. Sure, I should have said "many", as a qualifier (because apparently mentioning demis wasn't enough to indicate an awareness of this fact). I responded that beyond her understanding of it as a spectrum, it is more of a multiaxial plane. And that yes, there are those of us who DO fall into the "not at all sexually interested" range on that plane. And we hear all the time that we are somehow defective for it or that we have to be making it up.

As one of those who is not driven by libido, this is the kind of thing that sounds even worse coming from a supposed "ally" than from someone trying to tell me all I need is hormone replacement because, in their minds, asexuality isn't a thing. Because it feels like erasure, but from a different direction.

And to be clear, this is not a comment on anyone on the asexual plane who is of varying shades and types. Only on those who, looking from the outside, don't see all of us.