So for some context, my mom and I went to a concert last night (White Reaper, Spoon, and Weezer, for those who are curious), and we rented a car to get there (we live in a city, and cars aren’t as necessary because of public transportation). We decided to keep the car for another day so we could go see my mom’s friend who lives in a more rural part of Washington (I’ll call him Milton in this post, but that’s very different from his actual name). I had a couple of certified asexual™ moments while we were there. My mom knows that I’m ace but I didn’t mention it to Milton because I don’t know how he feels about that sort of thing. It’s also worth noting that I’m a trans woman. I’m pre-everything, as my parents weren’t excepting like they were with my asexuality, so I essentially had to re-closet myself, so Milton interacted with me as if I were a dude. I also marked this post as NSFW because of some of the things he said.

One of the first things I noticed when I walked in was his massive floor-to-ceiling bookshelves with over 1600 movies, about 600 of which are horror movies. I used to watch a lot of horror movies, and I noticed that the first Friday the 13th movie was on his TV, so we started talking about the series. I mentioned that my favorite was the 6th one (which coincidentally is the only one without any nudity), and he said that his favorite is the second one because it has the “hottest girl out of all of them”, and he liked that she was fully nude at one point. I mentioned that I didn’t really care about that part of the movie, and that my favorite thing about the it is that it introduced Jason as the killer, and he seemed a bit surprised.

The weirdest part of that visit is when he continued talking about horror movies while he smoked some weed, and he mentioned that he likes horror movies with lots of nudity. He then looks at me, and the following interaction ensues:

Milton: Here’s some advice. Now, when you’re about to put your cock in a girl’s pussy-

Me: No.

Milton: Ok. brief pause followed by visible confusion. Did you just say no?

Me: Yeah, I’d rather not.

Milton: looks at my mom How old is [misgender]?

My mom and I, at the same time: 18.

Milton: looks back at me, still confused. Are you a virgin?

Me: Yes.

Milton: That’s ok, I didn’t have intercourse until I had just turned 17, and [Milton’s girlfriend] didn’t have sex until she was 19.

And I’m just standing there, sipping on a can of Coke, wondering what the fuck this conversation is.

One more brief interaction that was influenced by my asexuality occurred a little while later. Milton made us cheeseburgers, and while he was cooking them, I sat down with his dog, Scooby, and started petting him. I commented on how I’d like to get a dog someday, and Milton walked out of the kitchen. Then, this happened:

Milton: You definitely should get a dog like Scooby, he’ll help you attract hot girls.

Me: I’d rather just have the dog.

Milton: visibly confused. Fine, but you could have your cake and eat it too.

I had to restrain myself so hard to stop from saying that I’d rather just have the cake, but I just remained silent and kept petting Scooby.

So that was an interesting day.