I(19F) love my bf (21M) so much. I came out as ace last summer but my sexuality wasn’t an issue in this relationship until the last few weeks. I told my boyfriend, very early on that I was wrestling with my sexuality, and he was really accepting of it. He was a little bit confused, but other than that he was really great in his response.

The issue is that in the last few weeks we have started to become more physical (mostly because he asked that we could get to that point) I was a little bit hesitant, but I think I dissociated a bit. We’ve made out a few times and been partially nude, but never gotten close to sex before. I basically just grit my teeth and do it, hoping that he doesn’t notice that I’m not into it. There were a few times, though, where I said no to getting physical and one time he tried to bargain with me. Afterward, he was really apologetic, and said that he would never violate my consent, but it got me thinking.

I genuinely don’t think that I can manage a long-term relationship where I regularly become physical in a sexual way. It’s nothing against him, of course, it’s just that I don’t see him that way. I love cuddling and close contact, but that’s it. The biggest issue is that if I present all of this information to him, I’m afraid that he will break up with me. Which he has every right to do, but I just can’t stand the thought of being alone. But I also don’t wanna sacrifice my boundaries and individuality.

I have no one to blame but myself for a potential breakup, but it sucks.