Cliffnotes to save you the trouble if you're not into any of these things: Extremely introverted, extremely nerdy, hairy dad bod (exercising consistently and down quite a lot), average height. I write smut for a living. As a warning, there is NSFW content on my profile - I'm not trying to trick you into being curious and looking, I just don't want you to snoop for fun and run into something you aren't down to see. If any that bothers you we may not be a good fit.

With that out of the way - hello, and thanks for reading!

I am a creative nerd, asocial hermit, and walking stereotype of the melancholic struggling artist.

I guess that doesn't sound great, but I would also like to believe that I am a great friend, attentive listener, problem solver, and quite emotionally intelligent. I am educated (master's degree), self-employed as a freelance writer (I have some goals this year I hope I have the courage and energy to shoot for), and love to make people laugh. My primary "love languages" include quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. I want to spend time with you (and give you space), tell you how great you are (without patronizing), and hold your hand and stuff (maybe touch your butt).

Look, dating hasn't been going great these past few years - I wouldn't say I have any horror stories, but it is difficult to find that genuine connection for my balance of grounded, quirky, shy, anxious, fun-loving, creative, loving, and occasional self-loathing that I embody. In terms of typical qualities, I gotta be honest: I'm not an ambitious, travel-loving, type-A grindset kind of guy. I'm a comfortable bug, happy at home or walking in empty spaces with music in my ears, listening to my friends' problems and then watching shows or playing games with them online, looking forward to cooking something simple yet tasty so I can have leftovers the next day kind of guy. I think I can be exciting and challenging, and I'm willing to do a lot for a person I like but you probably won't find a jet-setting whirlwind romance here, sorry. Like many I have struggled with some mental health issues (depression/anxiety/ADD) but I am happy to report that I've finally got a handle on things and am functioning well!

In terms of hobbies, I love learning about history, cooking, trivia, engineering projects, scientific discoveries, how things work, why things are the way they are. I play a lot of games in my free time, and I'd like to play games with you (although the sweaty PvP ones I might sit out unless we REALLY hit it off). I collect and read tabletop RPGs and board games, and enjoy comics and webcomics as well. Of course I watch shows and often the same shows - I would really enjoy introducing some of my favorites to you. In general I am very passionate about discussing the little nerdy intricacies of things that I am into and in equal measure I'd love to hear you geek out about your favorite stuff as well. My taste in music covers the entire gamut but my top most-played for 2022 included a lot of theatrical rock, shoegaze, prog/jazz fusion, indie pop, and heavy metal/hardcore - I wish I went to more concerts. Horror movies are cool but I'll watch anything if there is someone to talk with during. I don't write much as a hobby these days since doing it for work but running a good tabletop game will get me motivated in a heartbeat.

I also have a cute little chihuahua/terrier who is afraid that every stranger wants to ruin her life, I exercise regularly, and I enjoy hiking/biking/bouldering for more active activities.

Socially, I am very introverted. I'm not particukarly interested in meeting strangers (present post excluded, of course), I need my time alone every now and then, and if there's a lot of socialization I will need to like... take a breather for a bit and that's cool, no biggie. I get anxious when I have to talk on the phone, I dread long checkouts at the grocery store, and I am not pleased having my picture taken (although I'll be a good sport about it). I'm very gregarious and jolly with my friends or close-knit groups, but I wanted to make this clear because I have met some people who really don't understand that like, no, I do not want to go to this thing or that event just to meet people or be stuck in rooms with strangers. Please be okay with that. I promise your parents will love me, though (if you get along with them).

Physically, I must apologize on my behalf - I am excessively average in appearance. 5'7", brown hair/brown eyes, dad bod although I have been working consistently to reach a more fit figure and would consider that a realistic goal for me. I have a big bushy beard and looong hair down to my tailbone, although I have no particular attachment to it and would let any potential future partner have a strong voice on if it stays or if it goes. I've never tried to dress for anyone else but myself - I tend to wear a lot of grey or earth-tone khaki pants, button-down shirt over t-shirt, and a jacket if it is cold. I might have a suit stashed away somewhere but if I do we're gonna have to tailor that bad boy before busting it out. If you like the "hairy soft bod" trope I think you're in luck, haha.

What am I looking for, exactly? Well, dating in the traditional sense has never been my cup of tea - I guess I've never really done much of anything in the traditional sense, for better or worse. I want us to be friends, to get to know each other and spend time together talking or sharing activities and hopefully we start swapping food pics and outfit selfies and shots of places we visit and it becomes difficult to go to sleep because we're each trying to be the last to say "goodnight" and then we realize that damn, we really enjoy each other's company and should really talk about getting serious with it - like, go out and shit. Slap a label on that sucker. I hope you are the kind of cozy homebody nerd or super badass action chick who gets along well with cozy nerds and wants to forge a genuine connection. If you're local we can still go on traditional dates for pizza and museums and stuff too of course but I don't mind a long-distance thing either. If the feelings are forged, we'll make it work.

"Gamer gal" is just a shorthand for the fact that I would like someone who is passionately nerdy and loves to gush about their hobbies - discussing trivia and history and dissecting art and design and writing is a passion of mine and if it isn't something you are enthused about as well then we won't end up having much to talk about! We are more than our hobbies and I'd love to explore the "real talk" or spend our time together just enjoying each other's company as well but I've learned from experience that if for example you'd be bored to tears during an impromptu TED talk about the 30-year history of a Street Fighter character's theme music then maybe we're not going to be on the same wavelength, y'know?

I don't have any one physical "type" and the person you are is always more important than your looks but definitely my preference is for someone HWP, fit, or petite, that sort of thing. Someone's body doesn't measure their worth but I just like what I like, y'know?

I have to admit: I'm not, like, a chaste person. As a definite aegosexual and "figuring-it-out-but-probably-demisexual" I'm not particularly motivated by having actual sex anytime soon but it is a subject I ponder and explore often. It feels difficult to admit that on Reddit without sounding like a creeper trawling for nudes but yeah, sexuality is an important aspect of a relationship for me. That doesn't mean I am looking to sext with you within a day or a week or even months of getting to know you but like... let's not pretend it doesn't exist, is all I'm saying? I am immersed in smut as part of my work, it isn't difficult for me to talk about. And a long-term, long-distance relationship without that sort of stimulation (I am an extremely visual person) really does end up feeling like a pleasant friendship with an extra helping of emotional labor. Let's be real about who we are, please.

While I absolutely want to start as friends first and follow the chill vibes wherever they take us, I am open to lots of outcomes from best friendship, FWB, QPR, LTR, or whatever wacky stuff comes up. I'm not specifically seeking something poly but it is a conversation I am open to having if you'd like.

So, hey! I know this is a lot but I wanted to paint a genuine portrait of where I am coming from and what I am looking for. I'm not a difficult person and it's easy to say hi to me, although I perform my best with some sort of prompt to go off of. Seriously, ask me stuff - I love answering questions and will be sure to follow up with some for you! Tell me a bit about yourself, what's the most recent hobby you discovered with and what's a hobby you wish you could explore more or had more friends to share it with?