I love my partner. I’ve never loved or connected with a person more; we’ve been dating for four years, and have known each other over a decade. Lately we’ve been spending more time at each others places after having talked about potentially moving in together, and I…don’t like it very much.

I don’t want to lose my relationship or my partner. They’re my best friend. I always thought I was very easily content. I read my books, I pet my cats, I have game nights with friends, etc, and I’ve always been very happy with that even though I don’t make a lot of money or do much besides. Lately, as my partner and I have been talking about moving in together, i feel like I have everything and more, but the ‘and more’ starts to feel like a negative the more I experience it. As I get less and less time alone, I just feel exhausted, even if it’s with them.

I’ve expressed my need for time alone and my aversion to sex in the past, and for the most part it’s been fine even if there’s a disconnect on how we consider sex. But I’ve never before had to consider why I was so content living on my own, and now that I am, I’m scared. I feel like something’s wrong with me, like I’m doing a disservice to my partner by not being able to ‘commit’ even though I was already loving spending my life with them the way we were. And the more I think the more scared I get that I’m just not built for everything a relationship entails. I feel lost, like I don’t work right, and like I’m going to wind up hurting the person I love most

I don’t know what to do