CW: I talk about what I think of as romantic things (it may be obvious that a post about romantic attraction discusses romantic acts, but just to be safe, since I'm not sure when CWs are truly needed in cases like this).

I don't get the point of casual dating. I just don't see the point. I've been on a few dating apps, and being overall straight and male, I didn't get too many matches, but when I did, I often thought, "why am I doing this, again?"

I really do crave a long-term relationship, though. Hell, I even want to get married one day. I just don't see a point of dating for any reason other than finding someone I could be with for a very long time, if not _gasp_ forever. Is that an unhealthy way of life and an unhealthy way to judge whether I'm romantically attracted to someone?

The only people I've had real crushes on have been friends of mine, but if I meet someone new who meets the criteria of who I'd want to be with (religiously, our values, do our personalities/energies 'click,' etc), my interest perks up, but that feels less emotional, and more intellectual, "ooh, interesting, she checks all the important boxes." But not the kind of romantic attraction, where I'm like, "I just want to hug you, squeeze you, pick you up, and spin you around before we just sit and cuddle."

To repurpose something Evan Edinger said about his demisexuality (2:40-3:12), and apply it to what I think of my romantic attraction and how I think about people romantically, " 'I don't know, she doesn't like to drink, and I can't imagine dating someone who doesn't drink at all, 'cuz, like, that's pretty boring, and I want to make sure I can have a drink with someone, and God, if they're not going to do that ever, how are we going to last forever?'... After the first date, I'm like, 'Do I / Could I marry her eventually? If I can't, what's the point of the relationship?' " (though, in this case, I'm the opposite, in that I'm the one who doesn't like to drink, but that's besides the point).