The breakup is still pretty fresh so I can’t tell if I’m thinking clearly about this, but I really want to stay friends with my ex-girlfriend.

She’s said several times now she wants us to be close friends again eventually, and think I want that as well.

I feel like half of why I was so upset over our breakup was at the idea of losing our friendship as well. The idea of not having her in my life at all is so, so much more heartbreaking than the idea of us just being friends. In fact, having a less intense relationship feels like a huge relief.

We’ve always gotten along well both platonically and romantically, at least until our relationship started to go downhill. But I think with some work we can rebuild the friendship we lost sight of somewhere along the way.

I do genuinely believe we could do well as friends, but we were so codependent on eachother for so long, I worry that we won’t be able to maintain a more distant relationship enough to have a healthy friendship. I guess maybe that’s the part that takes time and effort to build though, and I’m willing to put in the work.

Perhaps most importantly, I’m worried that not taking enough time away from her will be detrimental to my mental health. Our relationship turned pretty toxic towards the end and I really need to learn how to prioritise myself again. But I’m not sure how long that will take, what do I even measure to know if I’m ok being close to her again?

I’m scared of how happy I feel even after the briefest of conversations with her, it feels like going right back to everything we’re supposed to be leaving behind, so I’m keeping my distance for now.

I’m hoping that I’m just a bit lonely and missing the most thoughtful and attentive person in my life. But I’m scared part of me is still too dependent on her, and I’m just going to drag our relationship down all over again if I don’t properly break that connection.

It would be much easier to just give up entirely and never talk to her again, but that’s really not what I want at all.