Hi!

Using a throwaway for anonymity purposes

My apologies if this is not the right sub for this discussion, but it's the only one I found remotely related to my experience.

I really enjoy meeting new people, hearing their stories, getting excited for them, as long as I am not directly involved in for example picking a ring for my best friend's girlfriend, help them pick drapes for their new house... However, if it's unplanned and they are in a tough spot about it, I will turn the world around to help them.

Same with relationships, I have not been in a long term relationship and when I entered a relationship, it was just annoying, because I did not have my personal time as much as I wanted to which eventually led to a break-up. No, it's not just that one girlfriend, it's in general... I love being alone. Genuinely. Even friends have limits. If we're somewhere for the weekend, I really start to feel the need for my solitude as it's too much. If they leave the room/place for an hour, I'm good again as I've been recharged.

If a close friend has got into a relationship, I will be interested to hear about it and care if they are happy, usually form a friendship with the partner as well as most of them are amazing people I love as friends, but I would hate to listen to them and their love for hours on end. OK, we have determined they are nice, I've met them, i know they are great, you two are a good pairing, we cool. Keep things to yourself. Don't shove tongues down each other's throats every five minutes. It's disgusting.

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On the other hand if a friend has suddenly broken up with his/her bf/gf and want to talk, I will absolutely listen to them and advise as much as I can to provide emotional support.

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Texting also does not bother me in the slightest, I can talk on a variety of topics for hours on end, make a connection, joke, give advice on romance, write poetry about love even, which again seems to counter some of the things I've written here, but that's where the confusion lies.

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My best friend from preschool whom I've known for 20 years and we mostly talk about tech, booze and work, never really discussed gfs or anything like that, recently got into a relationship with a girl and they are getting serious, he just mentions her in passing every time we meet up. There's a whole bunch of other things going on in his life, both personally and professionally. It's genuinely one of the best meetups I have.

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Another couple I'm close friends with has just announced the wife is expecting and while I am really happy for them, I really don't want to spend the next year or so talking about their baby and nothing else. I truly am happy for them and want to know about their lives, but this cannot be the ONLY thing you can talk about... Yes, I know having a kid changes everything and it's a difficult change. I am fully aware of that and it would be absolutely impolite of me not to even ask about their child, at the end of the day, i do want to know a bit, but I don't want a 3 hour convo on how much he/she pooped today.

But, they could call me at 3 AM saying hey, I need x for my baby and I'd be there for them, because I love them.

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How do I approach this without coming off as a disinterested asshole?