I am very Grayromantic and oftentimes I do not enjoy romantic gestures or sudden passionate romantic behavior, however I have a fairly strong sex drive and am willing to get passionate in that way. Unfortunately I am someone who gets intensely jealous when it comes to my boyfriend watching porn, so when I caught a glimpse of his phone earlier today and saw that he has Twitter and Reddit I internally panicked.

We’ve had arguments over him talking to a former friend with benefits, though at first I honestly had no problem with her coming over and hanging out with him. She crossed a hard boundary when she asked him in private if they’d ever “be together” again. He “cut her off” following that situation. Unfortunately he only cut her off from coming to our house, because she’s called him many times since then.

I seldom feel romantic desires, urges, or attraction but I never fail to feel jealousy, insecurity, and everything else that you’d expect an aromantic NOT to feel 🤦‍♀️ It feels like my romantic desires have all been converted to sexual desire, and though he says that his only issue with me is that he wants MORE of my attention and affection I can’t help but detach more, which I know is because internally I feel like he’s lying about watching porn.

He’s very, very affectionate with me and constantly overwhelms me with kisses and hugs and things like that. He’s also very thoughtful, and treats me well. In fact he’s so loving that I’m genuinely starting to feel like he deserves better than me.

With all of that being said, here are some specific questions I have: 1. How can I get over the jealousy and everything, mostly regarding porn? 2. How can I show him that I love him and our relationship in a way he will really feel? 3. Is it possible that I don’t satisfy him somehow? Are romantic needs a thing? (Sorry if I sound dumb) 4. If romantic needs are a thing, is it possible for me to fulfill those needs as somehow who very rarely experiences romance? And how could I go about doing so on like a fundamental level to start off with?