Does anyone have practical advice/experience for navigating dating as someone who experiences infrequent attraction? At 36 years old, it seems clear I only feel safe developing romantic feelings in the realm of fantasy (ie authority figures or completely unavailable people). I don’t want to be alone. I like being in a sexual relationship with people where we have sort of like a warm friendship love. Just hooking up is not an option for me as i need to feel safe with someone and be somewhat committed in order to be sexual. I struggle a lot and really want to fall in love, but I’m coming to a point where I think I just need to accept it probably won’t happen for me. Is there a way for me to date responsibly without hurting people? A lot of my friends tell me I’m a narcissist for wanting to date people I don’t feel like I’m in love with. But that doesn’t sit right. I’ve asked therapists I’ve had and they said that I’m not one.

I’ve been dating someone for 6 months and I have a good time with them. But I have such intense nagging guilt that I’m not “falling in love” that being with them starts to feel evil to me. They’re not asking for anything more that what we’re doing right now, which is hanging out once a week and we’re about to go on a trip together. I get anxious when we don’t hang out regularly and I don’t like the thought of breaking up. But I also don’t want to lead them on. We’ve talked about feelings a bit and neither of us is feeling infatuated I don’t think. What else can I do to make this ok?