Won’t go away

I’m 32 years old and through whole life I’ve always had this urge to join the military. It started in high school and did jrotc but let family members talk me out of it and instead did some college got married and worked. Through the years that urge has come to me occasionally but I always end up deciding not to but in the past three years it has been almost a monthly urge and actually took the ASVAB over the summer. I want to but you see people on here make it seem like the worst decision. I have a good job no kids but married for 10 years. She’s said she would support me going into the guard or reserves. This is the one thing when I look at my life I feel regret about and like I have to prove to myself I can do it but something just seems to hold me back. Can someone please give me advice to get over the I don’t know if fears the right word or not but the fear of actually going through with it or putting it to rest.