The last 2-3 months have been a pain. I got a diagnosis for ptsd w generalized anxiety and depression right around the same time we went through a platoon reshuffle. I fell under new leadership as a Junior NCO (yay cpl). I was pulled from leadership for “lack of integrity” because I fucked up and didn’t verify two layouts one being for a soldier going to blc which I did do the layout and told them to get the items they didn’t have when they went on leave. The other for a high dollar piece of equipment where I saw three of the internal items but didn’t verify serials. Lessons learned and now I’m ornery as hell about inventories to keep everybody from getting slapped. I felt wronged in that situation because I was kept in the dark for over a week I was tossed into a new squad without being told and had to figure out on my own who my new TL and SL. I’ll admit cutting corners by not verifying the serials was a mistake one I won’t make again but I found out recently that everyone who signed for that equipment before me did it the same way the item was in SI lock up for a few months I was just the person that got “caught” and as for the blc layout I’ve never contacted a soldier on leave unless I needed 100% accountability and I was confident in their ability to get the items so I greenlit them by saying their layout was good.

Following that and being pulled from leadership I’ve fallen into this stupor it’s hard for me to get up for work because I’m just down. I’ve had to many late incidents because I have trouble sleeping and subsequently waking up. I have no real sense of purpose at work and it’s driving me up the wall.

I’m getting counseled for what feels like everything I feel like they’re building a packet against me and I’ve even been told by my PL that they’re trying to article me.

A lot of this comes from my relationship with my PSG we don’t but heads persay it’s mostly me saying rgr Sgt while being scolded lol. The basic breakdown I can give is this. All situations were with my leadership being aware of my mental issues and me being open that they were effecting me in a strong negative fashion. Situation one: mentioned above, outcome was a counseling with a recommendation of bar of re enlistment. Situation two: Bad traffic from my home to Pt lead to me showing up at 0554 when platoon hit time was 0550. I texted ahead and kept TL informed. Outcome was that I show up 15 min prior to all formations until undetermined point of time. Situation three: Had to have a one on one with my platoon leader because psg was gunning for an article. Outcome, PL told me that I need to develop a list of three things I’m doing to combat my biggest flaws and submit it to be read by himself and my psg. Was never talked to about assignment after I submitted it. Situation 4: Wallet was stolen while I was out decompressing from a long week and having drinks with friends. Outcome, Nothing Situation 5: Miscommunication lead to not completing vehicle inspection for platoon tmp due to me having multiple appointments and passing off info to another authorized driver. Outcome, was yelled at in office told I need to get my shit together and that it was my responsibility as an NCO to follow up with soldiers. Situation 6: Said aloud near soldiers “I can’t submit my leave SSG my fucking ID was stolen” after seeing a group chat message about opportunity leave. Said SSG suddenly appears and tells me to come with them. Outcome, was told I can’t speak like that around soldiers and that I need to get my shit together was ignored when I responded that I wasn’t speaking to the soldiers that I was simply speaking aloud. Situation 7: Was nearly inpatient at BH due to therapist asking me to seek further evaluation upon me admitting to having suicidal ideation following a trauma incident on deployment. Outcome: Pl and PSG had to escort me to BH from civilian facility therapist asked me to visit. PSG refused to acknowledge my existence and I felt extremely uncomfortable the entire ride. Situation 8: The Monday following situation 7 I woke up and hour late because that whole weekend been a long and generally not good time. I texted up to my TL and the following day got a counseling that I told my TL he needed to adjust because it wasn’t professional some of the things written and felt more accusatory than factual. Must now report thirty minutes prior to all hit time and formations until discussed date.

I have one two occasion approached my PSG asking if on a professional level we were okay, was told that we were just that she can’t let the junior soldiers think it’s okay to be late and other things that “I do”. I have apologized in earnest and even explained my mental state and my issues the whole time I spoke my PSG watched a video on their phone and continued working saying half assed responses like ”oh yea therapy sucks”

As of today I am done I have no faith or trust in my leaderships ability to help me or have my back. I see blatant favoritism and have even had other junior soldiers ask why I’m being held to a different standard than other NCOs and soldiers in my platoon. I deflect and laugh it off but I feel it to. I feel targeted.