I have been watching a streamer for a couple months now. I have made them laugh a couple times with my chats but I also upset them once with a joke they felt was too parasocial. They weren't mad they just let me know they felt it was uncomfortable. Ever since then I have been convinced they hate me and I cannot feel better. I also have Moral OCD meaning I am obsessed with being seen as a good person and being liked and it eats at me constantly. I went to a convention that this streamer also went to and they met up with fans but when I tried to kind of hint that I wanted to join I was ignored. It is likely they just didn't pick up what I was putting down but I felt so guilty like that I'm such a horrible person they can't stand to be around me. I know this is silly and parasocial but I really literally have an obsession about being liked by everyone I interact with. I keep considering leaving their community but my sibling says that isn't necessary and they have a psychology degree so I trust them with mental health issues. Idk this is mainly a vent but I feel absolutely ridiculous even worrying about something so trivial.