I'm a mid-level, white-collar professional currently in the midst of a job search. The interview processes are mind-numbing and, at times, a little dehumanizing. After all the skills assessments and "quick chats" with recruiters and Zoom panel discussions, it all comes down to how I can use my talents and skills to make a company money.

And something occurred to me recently. I don't want to be good at that. I have no intrinsic motivation to help a company succeed. I'm not really interested in meeting KPIs. I couldn't care less about sales numbers or EBITDA or profits or funding. I just don't care. And I'm tired of pretending that I do.

There's a whole list of things I do want to be good at. I want to be a good neighbor. I want to make my friends and family feel safe and valued. I want to be good at identifying plants when I go hiking. I want to be good at cooking, and driving defensively, and being involved in my community. I want to be good at making people laugh. I want to be good at thinking critically about current events and books I read. I want to be good at taking care of my cat.

Is this an issue of laziness? Some people would argue it is, and I'm sure I'll hear from them in the comments. But the thing is, I want to do things. I want to continue to develop as a person and make my time on this planet meaningful. I just want to drop the "work ethic" charade. Improving a company's profits is at the very, very bottom of the list of things I want to do. It doesn't drive me. It doesn't excite me. And the more I think about it, the weirder it seems that there actually are people who measure their personal success by their professional success.

I'm really glad I've found this weird corner of Reddit that's full of people saying the things I've long been afraid to admit.