6 years of retail under my belt now, and the first thing I think about when getting off the clock is how badly I want a drink.

I'm not an alcoholic, but the big thing there is: I'm not alcoholic YET. I don't have withdrawal symptoms and I don't need anything to wake up or keep headaches at bay. I have an addictive personality. It has the potential to be a very slippery slope for me if I'm not very, very direct with myself. I have to be careful, because if I'm not careful, I would absolutely not think twice about drinking every single night.

My spouse noticed that I was drinking after work more often. She said "Hey, let's try not drinking for November. I've noticed that you've gone through a lot of scotch." I agreed, and it wasn't difficult. But as soon as November ended...well, it's back to the first thing on my mind when I deal with all the bullshit that work gives me.

The stress of working retail for terrible bosses while being abused by customers has warped my brain to the point that I NEED recovery vices. I try to make that vice video games as often as possible, without alcohol, but it's a very difficult battle.