Today I took my first 50mg of sertraline. I'm so full of anxiety, and dark thoughts surrounding this medicine, it's overshadowing all the other problems I have. I'm having panic attacks about side effects. I've read it's been used since the 1940s to chemically castrate sex offenders. I'm in a broken relationship just now, so no real need for things to work, but it's an important part of my life, and getting so worried about not being able to perform. It's going to turn me into a zombie. I hate the thoughts of this, and can't now contact my doctor until Monday am. I've only taken one so far, and I have already had some suicidal thoughts this morning. I honestly just want to switch off my life. I have long covid, and have been abandoned by the health service, as they say they don't know how to treat it. I've suffered over 20 months. Unable to earn. Unable to think clearly, breathless, fatigued, and generally ill. It's been a major contribution to the wa my life is tight now, I'm in a hole I can't dig myself out of. I've lost the love of my life, I'm losing the roof over my head, and basically lost my identity. It's a dark place to be, and I feel the side effects of sertraline will push me over the edge. It's a combination of many many layers of pain, bad decisions, and just life giving me a kicking. I'm worried about that sertraline will be the final straw.