hi all,

i wanted to do a wee update on my journey into mirtazapine. i posted a few days ago and the response was wonderful for me because people shared their experiences (good and bad) as well as giving me tips on how to deal with my journey towards better mental health.

i haven’t been on the medication a full week yet but i feel as though i have enough substance over the last few days to discuss changes i’m seeing in myself and in my way of thinking.

just to here, i’m on 15mg in the evening.

Day one:

i took the tacket at 19:30 and wasn’t feeling one bit tired, and yet, i was fast asleep within half an hour.

the following morning was rough. i woke up to my alarm and i couldn’t keep my eyes open at all. i did. manage to not fall back asleep but it was rough. i started work at 06:30 and was still sleepy on my feet for at least the next 2-3 hours. Once i got over the tiredness and groggy feeling, i felt a faint headache coming on. it wasn’t harsh or anything, just faint and lingered for the rest of the day.

That evening i took the tablet at 18:30 and fell asleep around 21:00. there was definitely no sudden sleep spell this time around.

Notable point: i wouldn’t say i was in state of mania but i did find that my thoughts feel cloudy. it’s as though nothing matters but what’s in front of me and because of this, i’m not thinking about or caring about anything that isn’t right in front of me. i don’t feel extreme happiness but my extreme sadness is gone. it’s also the first day since last friday that i haven’t broken down and cried.

Day Two:

i woke at 04:50 which is way before my alarm but i didn’t feel tired or anything negative. in fact it’s prob let the most relaxed i’ve woken up in months. i felt well rested, hopeful and chilled. there was no grogginess or headaches at all this day.

still, the biggest change i see is my thoughts. i can’t think about or care about anything other than what’s in front of me and i don’t know if this is how “normal” people respond to things and i don’t know if this is something that’ll stay. i think i’d like it to because i’m not stressing over anything at all. i haven’t had a suicidal thought for days, i can think of my ex and the breakup without crying or even caring too much. of course i still care about her and would love to fix things, but it feels like if we never spoke again (looking likely) it won’t affect me at all.

i really hope this feeling stays because it’s nice to feel somewhat in full control.

this night, i took the tablets at 19:00 and was still awake past 23:00 playing Tears of the Kingdom. fantastic game!

Day Three:

we’re in that now. i woke up at 04:30 and got to work on time. no tiredness, no grogginess. i still don’t bother or fuss about things that aren’t in front of me right now. i still don’t see it as me on a high of any sort but i wonder if the cloudy feeling is something that will stay or will go. this brings us to now.

Notable Point: i feel as though i’m not seeing a huge increase in appetite but i’m eating more consistently than i was before starting the tablets. i’m not eating more but i think my body might be retaining water more than it usually did. it’s hard for me to be sure as i don’t weigh myself but if im right, this is the only concern with weight i see so far. i’ll keep an eye on this one over the next weeks and see how it goes. i’ll do another update down the line.

i’m feeling very optimistic about the tablets and im curious what your thoughts are on the ‘cloudy’ feeling around my thoughts and the ability to… just not care? before i started these tablets i was contemplating suicide. i was in a dark place and distant thoughts as well as ones that haven’t happened were a source of stress and now i can’t think past what is in front of me now. i love

does that go away? i’m not sure i want it to.