I know that title might be confusing but I'll try my best to fully explain the situation here.

I recently started to attend some group meetings, as I am struggling with my alcohol consumption. I used to be active with similar, but different, meetings about 10 years ago but after I achieved lasting sobriety I stopped.

4 years ago my fiancé died. I fell into drinking and it's not something I'm proud of. I decided I needed to go back to meetings and work on my issues.

I attend a few meetings throughout the week but the meeting that I've been most comfortable with is a smaller, women only meeting.

Many of the attendees will go out after the meeting to a local restaurant to continue talking and work on developing a strong fellowship.

I had been to this women only meeting for about a month and I felt I was starting to make some connections so I finally decided to join them for the "after meeting" at a restaurant.

The meeting itself is usually 10-20 women, and a core group of 5 always go out after. Usually a few others from the meetings will join but it tends to vary, from what I've seen.

So the core group of 5, two other "semi" regulars, plus me and another newer member go out to a local restaurant. It's a chain type place and nothing fancy, just a typical American mid-priced place.

I will say that I'm assuming the group comes here frequently because the restaurant serves alcohol and having been here before the servers usually try to mention the drinks but they didn't this time (which I appreciated, and only mention as part of the story).

We all order soft drinks or water and then eventually place our food orders with the server. All of us place food orders, except for one woman from the main meeting group who does not order any actual food. Which is fine by me, I've done that once or twice when I'm just not hungry and usually just try to contribute nicely to the tip.

As per normal restaurant protocol the food came out and the rest of us ate what we could/wanted.

(I guess here is the best place to put my side note. I had bariatric surgery years ago, and as such am unable to eat much in a short time frame. If I go to a restaurant, I typically order something that I know I can take the leftovers home for myself to enjoy another day.)

Some time later, the server came back with everyone's individual checks and passed them around. She also had one box with her which she handed to the woman who hadn't ordered any food. I spoke up at this point and asked for a box for myself. The server looked a little surprised, but said she'd be back with it.

At that point I noticed that everyone who had ordered food and not finished it were passing their plates to the woman who hadn't ordered food and she was placing it all within her to go box.

Now was when this woman decided to tell me that when they go out after meetings she always takes everyone's leftovers, as no one leaves much on their plate to be worth it for them to take home, but if she combines those bits she can create a meal for herself. And since she's a single mother with kids, it's such a small thing to ask.

My main issue with this is that I ordered a meal fully knowing I would be taking leftovers home, which would become 2-4 lunches or dinners for me. I had quite a bit more food on my plate left than what anyone else did. It was literally 3/4 or more of the meal I ordered left. I am the one paying for it, therefore I should take it home.

I personally think all the other women should be able to box their own leftovers to take home as well but I don't know what kind of dynamic this group has and if they all are fine with this one woman taking all the leftovers, and again most of them didn't have a whole lot left on their plates.

I did, however, have plenty left, and I put my foot down on not allowing her to take my food home. I told her I specifically saved up what little extra money I have in order to be able to come out with them tonight. That I ordered a meal because it would feed me for another day or two, thus stretching out my splurge.

The server brought my box and as she had already taken our payments before, brought everyone's receipts.

Everyone looked so uncomfortable after her and I both spoke. No one said anything else until the server came back and then it was just to thank her.

I felt so very awkward and I just immediately left after that, but now I'm wondering if I was somehow in the wrong here?

Should I have at least offered the women part of my leftovers? Now I'm afraid to go back to that meeting and I was finally just starting to feel like I found one I could feel comfortable in.

Edit: to fix a few typos but also to clarify something.

The woman in question who didn't order food. While I can't know her complete financial situation, I do know that she has a full-time job as an accountant. She has 2 kids that she shares custody of with her ex, their father, and they go to the local private school. I know these things because she mentions them often.

Again, that doesn't mean that she's not struggling financially, but she has a place to live, a car, a job, and she always looks, to me, to be nicely dressed and such.

I would have been happy to contribute a little money with others for her to get a meal while we were out if that had been a conversation prior, but it wasn't.

The whole interaction at the end of the meal just felt so surreal to me, and now I feel uncomfortable going back to that meeting.

Also, I'm not going to lie, right now I know I need help to stay away from alcohol. I wish I hadn't gone out and had this interaction, but I don't know how to difuse the situation at this point.

I'm guessing I need to find a new meeting.