I’m 22f and my boyfriend is 36m. We’ve known eachother 1.5yrs but hav been dating about 4months. I love him so much. Recently his 2nd job (it’s less then legal is all I’ll say) has caused his paranoia to be crazy out of hand in my opinion. We argue constantly about it to the point of yelling and him kicking me out for a day or two at a time. His response to all questions are “cop question”. He hates questions so much, but only sometimes. One questions is a cop question, but the next day, same question is fine and answered immediately. It frustrates me because these answers hold no weight why does it matter so much. He just says he deserves his privacy and wants to protect who he’s doing business withs privacy. I told him I’m his girlfriend and certain things are girlfriend questions. I told him I honestly think relationships shouldn’t have any privacy. I’m not going to and never have spilled his or anyone’s business to anyone. Never hav gotten mad even when he’s hanging out with girls he’s slept with before as long as he’s upfront (he still does some business w certain ex’s cuz money). I’ve tried to cut down on unnecessary questions that r just frivolous or out of random curiosity. But still the most basic things he won’t answer. Examples of cop question “what are you doing, where are or where were you, whose there or who is that or anything with a who”. I’ve told him I literally can’t think of almost anything that he could b doing that I either don’t already kno or wouldn’t b supportive of. He says “it’s j the principle” but I feel like that’s crap. Why wouldn’t he want to answer the question to exonerate himself or ease my mind if he’s not hiding anything? But no. What was he doing at a motel 6 for over an hour without telling me, the random “emergency” he waited for me leave for and left work early to go home for mid day w out telling me and got pissed when I found out, or why he said he was with his friend Mr.fakename one morning and turns out Mr.fakename was arrested weeks ago. I hate that he doesn’t trust me. I can ask about his day because I like talking to him, but when you ask a follow up question about something related or to clarify something. That’s me “annoyingly answering a question with a question” or “ Im “grilling him” and he ”shouldn’t be interrogated” or “be forced to play 20 question”. When I’m just trying to have a conversation that’s more then j statements with my boyfriend. God forbid I ask what he’s doing, especially when he said he’d b home 6hrs ago on top of being unresponsive to text and call. IATHAH about privacy being a thing in relationships? Am I right to have suspicions and frustration with all this Cop Question shit?

Clarification: He is a plug and sells items. I never ask anything crazy personal or for crazy details, like full names or what/how much they’re buying because I think that is none of my business and keeping plausible deniability is smart. All I ask is “where r u?” (generally what part of Austin) and who are you with/are you with someone I already know (I only ever ask for first names). If he can’t tell me that or won’t say what occurred to make a quick drop last 3hrs (this occurs extremely often) yes I’m gonna get suspicious and ask what is such a big deal you’d rather argue for a day then j say what happened if it’s “nothing”?