I (20m) didn't have the best parents (they're divorced btw) mom was verbally and physically ab*sive and my Dad was neglectful, hardly acted like I existed and just didn't act like he gave a damn most of the time.

It left me with PTSD (mostly from my mother) even went to therapy for it. However... While neither of them were great, my mom always made the effort to be there, to see me flourish and push me to be my greatest and she busted her but for me I can't lie. My Dad would never call, only ever get me at his convenience, went a few years without birthday or Christmas gifts and he even skipped out on my HS graduation... And then lied Abt the reason he couldn't be there (to celebrate my youngest brothers b day oh please) when I called him out on it later he asked who told me that nonsense and I said that he did, so I know he was stepping in his own bullshit.

He even forgot my own birthday complete last year when I turned 20, and sent him a terse text saying that I'm not visiting him for Thanksgiving (he wanted all his kids there) . Every time I try to talk to him Abt how he acts he says that I want it to be all about me and that my mom has me brainwashed.

Last April I wanted to rebuild a relationship with my parents so I called both of them over to where I live to have a dinner and a talk... My mom cried and she at least admitted to being too harsh and said she was sorry and that she wanted me to win although she denied I was ever ab*sed.

My dad on the other hand gave a backhanded apology saying that I try to blame my parents for my problems, to which my mom stepped in and defended me... (I could not stand up to my dad at that point).

Now fast forward to the near present... I think my dad and I are coming on better terms, I ask him if he can come to my orientation along with my mom, my mom is excited but here's that my stepmom is coming. She is dismayed because she has an issue with her and I admit that I prefer it just be my parents bc I wanna rebuild a relationship with them. She asks if I should ask my Dad if only he could come. I don't have a problem with my stepmom, she's been nothing but nice to me, eventold my dad to repay my travel fairs and tickets to Busch gardens from what I heard. but I can't deny that every time that any event is about me, they never come. They didn't attend my graduation and then later right after that asks if I wanna come to my brothers barber graduation (are you serious) I've bought her birthday gifts before but she along with him forgot mine and even for my 19th birthday my dad passive aggressively criticized me for not coming to see him on MY birthday even when he didn't attend my graduation. All she could give was the fakest happy birthday when my dad called on my actual birthday (with the same passive aggressive attitude) after I told him him off.

I just feel like they sweep stuff under the rug but do things so they can say they tried but never when it really counts, when it's time to come see me for my events and not when they wanna do something. I didn't even invite her, I was talking to my dad about it and she sort of invited herself. But when I told my asked my dad Abt it, he said that it was unfair since she's already coming to uninvite her and that she's been nothing but nice to me and that I should think about what I said. I felt very guilty and now I don't know what to do. Was I wrong?