So I'm an alcoholic/addict (weed, cocaine). I've been a part of the AA fellowship for over 18 months now. I've been very involved in my groups and chair my home group and work to plan events for my area. I have a sponsor and a sponsee. I have grown so much in my time in the fellowship. I've had a very stressful rough couple of weeks at work and last night my emotions came to a head and I was crying for hours. I have anxiety medication to take as needed (which isn't often as I haven't refilled my script for months since i still have most of my last script) so I took my meds and they weren't enough so I decided to grab some CBD from my local smoke shop. I live in a state where Marijuana is not legal but you can still purchase CBD and there are regulations as to how much THC can be in any product sold. I bought the first disposable item suggested when told I was looking for CBD. I smoked a couple puffs and after a few minutes I started to feel high. I immediately read the ingredients and started to Google. What I smoked had THCa and THCp. I feel shame and guilt over it and even more shame that I want to smoke more but I know that's just how i am with any mind or mood altering substances, once I have a little I want more. I was fully expecting a normal calming effect and I accidentally got high. I feel like I backslid in my sobriety but I'm also conflicted as I recognize that I did not drink and there is the term "California sober" as it works for many people. I would be grateful for any and all thoughts on anything related to this post.