I am a 32 year old male. My mother has been a known alcoholic/opiate addict for 8 years, and was addicted but functioning for probably 8 years before that. I never knew about it when I was living at home, but her alcoholism has completely torn our family apart. The lies, the hospital visits, the drunken arguments... I've seen the ugly side of alcoholism.

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For the first time, I recently became worried about my drinking.

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I've never been a daily drinker, and rarely drink liquor, but I've recently had 3-4 drinks at dinners while out of town for work (it's free, right?). I also had 3 garage beers in the last 2 weeks.

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It all came to a head when my wife and I sat down to do our budget sheet. She asked why my bill was so expensive, I said I was with a client. I lied instinctively. I dug in, and she got very upset very quick when it became apparent I wasn't with a client. She brought up that I was always taking long to do things and disappearing around the house. I could see that this was going towards an infidelity talk- in stead of letting it go there (I have NEVER cheated on my wife, in any capacity), I fessed up. I told her I was by myself and had had all the drinks. When she had asked what I was doing in the garage earlier, I had told her I was just messing around on my phone. I came clean and showed her the beer bottle. I had also been hiding a nicotine vape from her, so I fessed up to that, and gave it to her.

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We've been very open and honest every day since. Alcohol is out of the picture right now as I figure this out. I've already talked to my therapist about this, and am about to see my PCP to discuss potential depression issues I've been talking about with my therapist for awhile.

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I am very successful, making more than I ever thought I would. I recently completed a true dry February, and lost 10 pounds coupling it with a good diet/exercise. I have a loving wife, beautiful son, and an awesome dog. Great house, great friends.

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I haven't drank since Sunday (when I had 1 beer), and have experienced no withdrawal symptoms. I haven't blacked out in years, I haven't embarrassed myself while drinking since college. My usage is not concerning to me or my wife. My daily life isn't concerning to either of us either- I'm a loving husband, who drinks socially with friends and with my wife, at rare work functions, etc.

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What is- the lying. The hiding, when it was seemingly unnecessary. These are things I have WATCHED my mom do, over and over and over again.

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I have done everything to avoid being like my mother. Where my mother never takes accountability- I confessed to my wife. I told her I am ashamed of what I did. How, despite potentially being depressed, that my actions were my own and the term "depression" by no means absolves me of lying to her. I told her I am terribly sorry for the way I made you feel, because I know that pain personally, and it kills me to know I did that to her.

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Where my mom said she could "do things her way" and went back to drinking immediately the first few years- I have completely stopped. I talk about it, along with my thoughts and feelings, with my wife daily.

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My therapist mentioned these are potentially the actions of an "Adult Child of an Alcoholic". In either case, I'm not drinking anytime soon until I can sort this out.

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When did you know you were an alcoholic? How do you know?