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I went to take a drug test today for a new job. By the time I got home I was so anxious I didn’t know how to calm down. I found my wife’s bottle the other day and went right to it when I got home today. Drank and then watered it down hoping she wouldn’t notice. But before she got home I drank that too. I feel I have so much control over most of my life but for some reason I can’t stop when it’s right there. I won’t allow myself to purchase booze but if I see it, it’s done. I really hate myself when it comes to the reality that I can’t control myself even when I think I have control. WTF
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