I have battled with alcohol since i was 15 & I am almost 40. I spent most of my teens, 20's & some of my 30's battling with this addiction. I thought I had conquered it after i spent my first Christmas & New Year sober in 2017 after 20 years. I did this by turning to exercise & going to the gym plus my girlfriend insisted that if I had a drink she would leave me. This was enough for me to stay off the booze with just the occasional drink but in the back of my mind I still knew I was an alcoholic.

My problem is that as soon as I feel stressed or emotional I have this uncontrollable urge to drink. I may drink for one night or maybe more but it's knowing I cannot control the urge which is bothering me. I have had a few minor challenges in life recently & I have turned to drink. Because of this I have contacted AA & I am going to attend my first meeting this Sunday but I am still slightly in denial & a bit apprehensive.

Guess I am looking for some reassurance. I know that I need to attend this first meeting on Sunday but I am scared that the alcoholic voice in my mind will persuade me not to go.

Any advice please?

Thanks.