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I don't know if I'm getting too caught up in the wording, but I'm struggling to admit that I'm powerless over my addiction. I know how disastrous things became, and that I kept trying to stop, and kept going back to it, but I don't like the idea that I'm fully powerless. It's not that I think I'm powerful, I just don't like giving IT that much power. I don't like claiming that something other than my higher power has ultimate control over me. idk. Does anyone have any thoughts/advice? Thanks!
The powerlessness in step 1 pertains to the inability to leave alcohol alone no matter the great necessity or wish. If you have an honest desire to quit for good yet you find yourself picking up a drink against your own will then you are powerless. Lack of power is our dilemma.
Pg 24 The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
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