Sooo ayun na nga since it's the 3rd last day of the year reflect naman tayo saglit, haha. Just a background I (F29) am a late bloomer and a virgin. This year I started to explore the online scene, talking to and 'talking' with guys from bumble and reddit, moreso reddit. A few points.

(1) I'm starting to embrace and own my sexuality, and realising I'm the type of person that needs to take care of this need specifically. I don't think it's taboo for me anymore and I think that's progress for me.

(2) I've also discovered things that I like not only sexually, but with the type of man I'd like to be with. I've confirmed some hypotheses of mine, and surprisingly I refuted some also. For example I thought since I am a strong-headed person I thought for a change and to have some respite I would solely be a sub. But just this week I found that I'm really more of a switch. Seeing a guy get flustered, hot and bothered while I instruct him to stroke faster but not to cum until I say so gives me satisfaction, and having the reigns from time to time does not drain me at all. But it also gives me the hots seeing a daddy get turned on when I'm a good girl for him.

(3) Despite the progress and 'liberation' I've experienced, I still find myself scared of meeting the guys I talk to in person. I still am a bit unsure if I am ready for that kind of interaction, given na NBSB din ako. Before this year I've been the hopeless romantic girl who fantasized about a romance for the books. Until a friend told me just as those men are just in the books, I am in real life. Ewan, may libra ata ako somewhere sa charts ko sa pagiging in decisive ko. I ENJOY the fun I get with what I am doing with strangers on the internet, but at the same time I still long for the romance I think I deserve.

So I guess until I find that guy whose a balance of both, I'd continue exploring this aspect of my life as I turn 30 in 17 days. 🤪 Any tips para hindi maattatch? Hahahaha

Happy new year everyone! I hope we all find what we want and deserve this 2025.

TLDR: indecisive girlie ponders whether to continue her shenanigans or just seek romance.