I think something is wrong with me... HELP AJ PIPS!

So a bit of a backstory.

Hi I'm L, currently single but in a FuBu situationshit. Sex is great and companionship is top tier with my FuBu as in we vibe like besties and we fuck like bunnies. We are open to others since pareho daw kaming masherep ay give others a taste. Hehe

Last week got drunk with classmates and ended up going home with one, let's call it S. S is the apple of the eye of the university, legit typical playboy look with the 6 pack but smart AF and study lead. S also has a dedicated fan club cause that fkin hot. S was also my free pass before and had the hots for S since freshies kami.

So me and S was making out and shit. Admittedly S has a heavily bod and grabe gumalaw but when we were gonna hook up... Putangina

An image of my FuBu came to fkin mind... Tas bigla akong na off... As in binuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig

I don't back out from sex and I always think bout my partner's pleasure. Tho damnnnn that time I just couldn't

Sabi ko cuddles lang kaya kong bigay and S could still sleep over but uwi agad sya sa umaga.

What is this supposed to mean?! Been confused since that day.