Pre. Tangina. Hahaha.

Your boi is currently a "free agent" and I've been talking to this girl from my college days for the past 2 weeks.

I remember her as a slim and petite and she kinda looked like Ara Mina if you squint your eyes real hard haha.

So we decided to meet up and fuck. Like no strings attached. Gusto lang daw niya ko i-try and same din naman ako sa kanya.

Asked her for a full body pic, because I have standards, and she sent one, but gave a disclaimer na medyo luma na daw yung pic. How luma? I didn't ask.

And as far as the face card is concerned, may itsura pa din naman. Kaya nga ako napamessage kasi she udpated her profile pic on fb and medyo na-catch yung attention ko. Sa VCs decent din naman ang face.

She always talked a big game. Like baka di ko daw siya kayanin. Baka sumuko daw ako kaagad sa sobrang libog niya. Your boi got curious lalo. Tangina mukhang hot na hot na si ate mo.

So eto na. Day ng meetup. Pare. I was flabbergasted for all the wrong reasons.

I don't want to body shame but dude, yung nacatfish ako sa pics dahil yung built niya is parang si Gru from despicable me. Not even kidding.

Her face is so oily, tangina pag nakita ng USA baka magkainterest din sila like what they did to Iraq. She tried to hide her acne din with makeup but obviosuly failed.

Gusto ko na sana magdrive palayo but being the semi-decent person I am, nilapitan ko pa din and was being cordial.

While driving, and dami niyang sinasabi na kesyo baka kailangan ko daw ng energy drink, robust etc. Kasi baka sukuan ko daw libido niya. Hmmmmkay, Gru.

Needles to say, we continued with what was planned. Pre, starfish. The blowjob was okay, but not great as advertised. And while I was fucking her (missionary) lagi niya kong tinutulak because my dick is hurting her daw. Winawasak ko daw siya.

And the moans are not even close to sexy. Literal na sumisigaw pre. Sakit sa tenga. I just can't.

So I decided to end the night and sinabi ko na lang na I have to get up early the next day. Only consolation that night was I just jacked off and came in her mouth.

And while checking out, she had the audacity to ask me if I enjoyed.

Nginitian ko na lang e. Then while driving pauwi di na ako kumikibo talaga kahit anong kwento niya.

Please, if you're planning to hookup with someone, set the correct expectations. Wag mangcatfish dahil you're just setting yourself up for embarrassment. Thanks! Haha.