(Please don’t screenshot and post somewhere else).
Sorry for the long read!

Around 7 years ago was the first time I went into an “adult club”. It was a gentleman’s club where my guy friends planned to “tour” me. As a 20ish bi-femme, I was curious, excited, and scared but didn’t show it on my face and acted cool. Pero sh!t. Pagpasok pa lang ng entrance, on our way to our table, may bumungad na agad sa’king boobs, dancers na nakakandong sa customers — some even looked as old as my dad at the time, some waiters giving back massages to customers prolly for tips, the floor manager ushering us and me specifically, as I see tons of eyes looking at our direction. I just walked normally while also trying to hide my face in case I see someone who might know me. I just thought, in this place, baka yung makilala pa namin ang magtago from us.

We seated at our table and ordered drinks. I felt uneasy as I can still feel some eyes staring at me. Some dancers and “performers” looked shy when they saw me, too, but I just smirked, lighted a stick, then looked at the stage to seem cool with it, so they carried on. P*cha, I remembered my yosi was essepop (the slim ones) so I seemed pa-chick talaga. It felt as if they’re embarassed but hey, I’m just here for the experience and a good time, not to judge anyone. Plus, gusto ko lang uminom because I was broken at the time.

Then the floor manager approached us (let’s call her Tita Flor) and asked if may gusto daw bang i-table yung guy friends ko. My other friend asked if nandun ba si K, so we had a laugh on how he was a regular doon. He’s the one who knew Tita Flor and nagkumustahan pa sila about her family (also the reason why inallow akong makapasok sa club). Tita Flor jokes around and found out I’m bi, saying she had this phase when she was young where she liked girls din daw. As a bisexual, it was hard being compared to as “just a phase” but I just shrugged off that thought. Dumating si K and she’s very pretty and friendly. We kept on chatting more than my friend who tabled her. Then I heard a voice near the stage introducing the next “performer”. Oh, it’s that time of the night. The “performer” walks around, dancing, then stripped naked, exposing everything to everyone. Iba pala yung feeling na makakita ng ibang boobies and pussies while also watching with other men na alam mong may malice. But I instantly forgot about that thought when I heard K cheering the “performer” like a supportive friend anyone wishes to have. The “performer” smiled and seemed to be more confident at the stage. K was very bubbly and even introduced my other guy friend to another “performer”. At this point, may ka-table na lahat ng friends ko but I didn’t mind, as they were all friendly naman. Tita Flor even asked me if meron ba akong type (pointing to her girls), I just smiled and told her na I’ll let her know. I was just observing while enjoying what I see and hear without any expectations that night.

The next “performers” went on the stage and it seemed like a modeling portion of the night. A lady wearing a black lingerie caught my eye, not just because she looks like Gigi Hadid but because she’s staring directly at me. My eyes were fixed on her but she seemed embarassed and looked away. She kept on glancing at me until matapos yung part niya then I asked K if she knows her. She told me her name (let’s call her Q) and proceeded to tease me. My guy friends were smiling, giving me an eye, then they called Tita Flor.

Q sat beside me. I felt uneasy again when I saw an older customer smiling at us but she managed to make me feel comfortable. Apparently, Q is a lesbian, and working in this environment, she knows the right approach to the stares. She was laughing and told me I looked similar to someone she dated that’s why she looked embarrassed at the stage (and she’s not wearing her glasses) but then felt at ease it was me who tabled her and not that old man. Kinabahan lang daw siya na may makakita sa kanyang kilala siya sa “outside world”. She told me that it was only a temporary job as she just needed an extra money. I asked her stuff like the part where some of the “performers” strip. She got what I meant, smiled and flirted a bit, but she doesn’t do that daw and it was allowed naman but the pay is lower. She’d rather model though the table part is non-nego daw, but the customers are not allowed to touch them naman inappropriately. I learned that she has a day job and a gf. We talked a lot and even got to ranting about our cheating partners (my break-up was unofficial during this time; same with her). We talked like we knew each other for a long time. It felt different lalo na when she kept on holding and massaging my left hand. During that time, I’m not comfortable doing stuff like that in public even with my ex, but with her, parang ang empowering ng feeling, idk. Or maybe I was tipsy na rin and she’s really hot. 😅 Naki-hits pa siya (kahit di siya smoker) while staring at me which made it hotter. Hindi na namin namalayan na naka-ilang order na kami ng drinks to extend her time. But I kept in mind where we are and who she is, baka it’s only for show dahil nga it’s her job. Then my guy friend whispered na last drink then we have to go na.

Before Q took her last sip, she asked for my phone and gave me her number, her fb acct (gave me her real name) then gave me a kiss on the cheek. Nakatingin lang sakin yung guy friend ko while biting his lip na parang kinikilig na nagulat. We’re all feeling a bit drunk and baka lumaki pa yung bill namin so bill out time na.

While waiting for our bill, lahat kami nag-CR muna. Nauna muna yung guys then I texted Q to also let her know my number. She just asked if nasa car na raw ba kami, told me to take care and stuff, and if kaya raw ba ng friend kong magdrive. She seemed worried. My other friends returned and signaled na ako na next mag-CR so I assured Q and told her na mag-CR na lang ako then we’ll leave na.

As I was washing my hands, I heard a knock. “Occupied”, I blurted. Knocked again pero ‘di ko pinansin. Lumabas na ako ng CR until I heard someone calling me. I looked back and saw Q. This time she’s wearing her glasses (imagine Gigi Hadid wearing glasses?!). Fuck. She pulled me in, closed the door and I just started kissing her. Hard. She kissed me back while I pushed her to the wall while she’s pressing her body against me. Nauuntog-untog pa siya sa light switch so the lights were flickering. We can’t even stop to breathe. I kissed her neck while groping her ass. We kept on touching and kissing each other like there’s no tomorrow. It was a long foreplay which really turned me on. Fuck. I was kissing her down until we heard a heavy knock. Knocked again and said my name. So we stopped. She sighed. T*ngina, it was my guy friend and Tita Flor. We composed ourselves then I slightly opened the door. My friend said they were worried na kasi ang tagal ko daw lumabas. I didn’t realize it until I saw the long queue outside. I went out… and nagulat sila when Q followed. That’s when my friend realized that I was okay habang nagpipigil ng tawa. Gagi i felt betrayed… and bitin. lol

Q was escorted by Tita Flor to the dressing room while my friend was still laughing on our way to the exit. Nawala amats naming lahat. I was so mad at him, in a pikon way (haha) pero I just messaged Q and apologized dahil baka napagalitan siya. She messaged me back to let me know that she’s ok and Tita Flor only gave her a quick sermon because they really need to go back na with a pahabol text — “Fuck, ang sarap mong humalik.”. My friends and I were still laughing in the car but I was a bit bummed out while contemplating about how an alasjuicy encounter turned into a malasjuicy one. 🥲

Oh, we scheduled a meet-up 2 weeks after. *wink