This is a long read my sincerest apologies.

I learned how to give massages to women not expecting for me to get paid or for it to become some sort of a "profession". I was a student back then, (Now working) and just like anyone at my young age, every now and then I get horny.

I already forgot how I stumbled upon reddit and discovered the underground hook up culture that we have here. But I immediately realized how competitive the environment is. There are a lot of guys and there are only a few women. And for a man to be successful in finding a mate, he must stand out and offer something more exciting.

That is my initial intention when I started offering yoni massages to women. I read some books, articles, and watched some videos about it. Learned the basic techniques.

To cut the long story short, it somehow worked. I guess women crave the experience of being "serviced", they often long for someone they would consider "givers". I guess this is because most men could be self absorbed when it comes to bed.

I met a few girls. Massaged them as foreplay but we almost end up hooking up.

But everything changed when a girl I massaged posted a positive review of her experience with me and somehow gave my contact details to other people.

That was when the flood of inquiries started. I no longer had any problems finding people, they started messaging me. And I suddenly have the liberty to choose. All I have to do is to schedule.

I was bombarded and felt overwhelmed by this sudden flood of prospective sexual partners. As a man, we are use to solicit not being solicited.

Fast forward, I massaged more women during my free days. They would normally ask if the service is free. I would often say that it is. Since this arrangement is also beneficial for me. At most, we split the hotel.

Until one time, a girl insisted to pay me. She was a corporate lawyer, older than myself but still very attractive, she is married. We checked in at a fancy hotel in Makati. It was a cuckold kink of his husband to know his wife is sleeping with a younger man.

After our deed, she asked me how much is the service. And I told her not to worry about it. But she insisted. Handed me cash before I left the hotel. Did not check it until I am only inside my ride. And I was surprised with the amount I received.

From then on, I thought why not earn from this? Business and pleasure right? For me it was never really about the money. I would never give them a price for my services. It is more of the ego boost I get with them putting a price on the pleasurable experience they got from me.

This continued for more than a year. I met many people from all different backgrounda and ages.

An experience that I can never forget was when I serviced a couple of lesbians who wanted to try a man for a change. That was my very first threesome.

I learned that cuckold is a common fetish. Many husbands would be the one requesting me to massage their husbands.

Doctors, lawyers , students. All sorts of people that I met. United by a common desire to explore their sexualities.

But as a man, it became overwhelming for me. Having access to infinite sexual partners and at the same time getting paid. I felt like I developed an addiction to novel experiences, a morbid longing for the company of random strangers

. Having access to this much people screwed up how I view the world. It somehow became detrimental for me and prevented me from having healthy relationships.

So one day.. I decides to quit. Deleted my reddit account. Which will prevent me from being contacted ever again.

But here I am again. Relapsing I guess. Thinking of all sorts of experiences I am missing out. All sorts of people I could still meet. This insatiable desire and greed to experience this life.

I know this is not healthy. I am lost. But maybe being vulnerable by confessing is a good start. Maybe this will also help others out there who might be struggling with the same issue but feels all alone because this is something you could not really share easily.