so ayon, you read it right. that guy saw me on bumble (we didn't match as i barely use bumble na that time because i was busy sa work) and decided to follow me on ig. i thought random follow lang kaya i followed him back after checking his feed (pasok sa taste ko hahaha) we didn't talk naman right after that, the day after siya nag chat and at first, i wasn't interested at him because of height differences and medyo tone deaf siya, but i gave him the benefit of the doubt and nag meet kami days after mag-usap.

first date went well. really well, to the point na wala akong masabi aside sa iba niyang stand sa life (well, i think he thinks that way kasi privilege siya pero nakinig naman siya sa'kin nung ni-call out ko siya). since then, nag ddate kami once-twice a week, wala talagang dull moment with him and that's what i like about us. lagi rin kami nag ccompromise sa mga bagay-bagay and nag pinag uusapan namin lagi yung mga problems.

pero ito na nga, nag simula 'to nung 3rd date namin, nanood kami ng movie and ate outside, typical na date kumbaga. pero while nag sstroll kami sa lugar niya, we talked about seggsy things. okay naman sa'kin as i am open OPEN talaga sa gano'ng topic. in-open up ko yung mga ayaw ko and yung mga na-experience ko na—na konti lang kasi virgin pa ako kahit na i had multiple ex. then, nung ihahatid na niya ako sa house, we decided na mag park muna tapos ayun na nga, napunta yung cuddles sa momol and i-bj him kahit na i said no, na kahit in-open ko sakaniya THAT DAY AS WELL na 'di ko forte at bet. after no'n, okay naman. isinawalang bahala ko.

NOT UNTIL, everytime na nag momomol kami, inaaya niya ako makipag sex SA CAR. i kept saying no, saying na ibibigay ko lang yung virginity ko sa magiging boyfriend ko at mas lalong hindi ko gagawin sa car yung first ko. syempre as usual, disappointed siya so nag eend up kami na ib-bj ko siya.

then, last monday, after ng date namin, sobrang in heat ata siya. jokingly niya akong sinisisi na bakit wala raw akong dalang valid id at 'di kami makapag sex? so ang nangyari, nag momol kami sa car and we ended up having sex. SEX. i kept saying no, na alam naman niya yung gusto ko, which is hindi gawin sa car. pero he was persistent, saying na gusto niya lang maramdaman yung init ko (?) i gave in din eventually. i don't know, but during okay naman.. pero nagka post nut clarity ako after.

kasi after niya labasan, lumipat agad siya sa driver's seat saying na kami nalang natira sa parking lot (which is true) at lilipat lang daw, but we ended up agad sa subdivision namin. i was shocked. feel ko ang dumi ko. walang aftercare and such. he didn't even helped me to dress up.

and you know what's worst? the morning after, my mom came to me asking kung nakipag sex ba ako and of course, i said no kaya umalis siya THEN MAYA MAYA BUMALIK, she was holding the condom PUTANGINA ANG BAGRA i have no idea paano napunta sa bag ko or sa akin 'yon kasi i never hold that fucking condom throughout the sex pati na rin nung tapos na.

ewan ko ba, any advice? nag uusap pa rin kami actually. scared lang ako ngayon kasi feel ko mabilis nalang niya ako bitawan since nakuha na niya yung gusto niya.

sorry pala sa lapses, hindi ako magaling mag kwento.