As Gordon Ramsay taught you to season your water whenever you cook pasta, he actually taught one thing guys should remember before they get their noodles wet.

If you can't understand the reference, what it basically means is to prime your partner first so that the sex would be better especially when it's the first time.

And when I say "prime" it could be a multitude of things including small talks, foreplay, and being physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared for you to have sex.

As old school as I may seem, I still hold on to the idea that knowing the other person's sexual dynamics would be the best way how to figure out how to please him or her.

When the water is in a rolling boil, you need to add salt, and a little bit of olive oil in the pasta water so that the noodles wouldn't stick together, and if you are to use it on your sauce, it's already seasoned with the starch from your pasta.

So, when someone wants to get their "noodle wet", it's really a process to get it right. You need to let the water boil first before you put in the pasta.

So you need to read the room and see if she's feeling "hot" for you. Don't assume that the water's hot from the steam, but instead, wait for it to "move".

Wait for the girl to do the textbook "moves".

Once it's in a rolling boil, you can season the water with salt and oil and put in your pasta.

DO NOT BREAK IT IN HALF IF IT DOES NOT FIT.

Aside from the blasphemous move of breaking it "just because it doesn't fit in the pot." This shows how impatient you are and might show ill intentions: just to get it over with.

When cooking pasta, you grab a handful, put it in the middle of the pot, let it go.

It all would fall into place.

As it does, the reason as to why you don't need to break it in half is because as the pasta eventually softens as it cooks, it would all fit in the pot.

Having to break it, force it, wasn't necessary. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS WAIT.

Oh and when you get it hot and boiling, you stir the pot for a bit to make sure nothing sticks. You observe, but not intensely watch over it.

AS EVERYTHING CHANGES ITS, CONSISTENCY, YOU EYEBALL IF IT'S JUST RIGHT.

As your noodle gets wet, it mixes in with the seasoned water and it becomes a part of decadence or disaster.

With the time you spent on that water, you find out how useful it is for you and not just some dirty water you throw away.

You can include it in your sauce, and be a part of what makes you look good and taste good.

I know this ain't directly juicy, but I know those who get this are looking forward to slurp some pasta. wink wink