Its a little long i'm sorry and i'm half asleep now,will read and reply as much as i can.

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It's almost 4 am, but I wanted to share my thoughts and start a discussion on why I've noticed that many Redditors (based on my experience, around 99% of them) seem to lose their confidence when meeting in person. It's interesting because during calls, video chats, and even messages, their energy is incredibly high, they show a lot of care, constantly remind me to eat properly, drink enough water, share facts, and talk about their day. They even show me pictures of their meals. However, when we finally meet up for a coffee or a date, all that confidence seems to vanish. There's an awkward silence that fills the air, making me feel like I'd be better off alone.

The person who seemed caring and attentive now has wandering eyes, avoiding direct eye contact while I speak. The person who usually displayed a high libido and a flirtatious nature suddenly becomes as tame as a puppy. The one who loved sharing fun facts now sits in silence, sipping their coffee while I desperately try to break the ice. And the most heartbreaking part is when the person who used to make me laugh effortlessly loses all confidence and stops even trying, as if our relationship had suddenly reset to zero.

I vividly recall one specific instance: there was a "female for female" (f4f) post to which I replied. We talked for weeks, engaging in video calls and even having late-night conversations. It felt like we were already a couple, and I developed a friendly attachment to her. Then, on the 17th day, we finally agreed to meet in person. However, she turned out to be one of the worst dates I've ever had. The energy I loved about her was replaced with her eyes darting around, avoiding direct contact with me. Her once bright smile became noticeably forced, barely resembling a smile at all. It was nearly impossible to engage in a conversation or break the ice, despite my numerous attempts. I even took her to a mall because she mentioned never having tried skating before. But during the silent car ride, all we talked about was my driving and the color of my car. I hoped that things would change once we started skating, but as we approached the line, she suddenly claimed it was too long and suggested we do it another time. So i decided to end the day and after dropping her off at the nearest LRT station, we said our goodbyes, and that was the last time we ever spoke.

Sometimes, I wonder if I intimidated her or if I simply wasn't her type. I genuinely was committed to that date,me being there meant I was interested in getting to know her better. It feels unfair when I put in so much effort and stretch myself to make the day enjoyable, while the other person doesn't even try or seems unable to try.

Have you experienced similar situations with Redditors or other online acquaintances? What could be the reasons behind this phenomenon of losing confidence in person despite seeming confident online?