SPOILER ALERT ⚠️

If you haven't watched the mini-series "Beef" on Netflix and you're sensitive to spoilers, might as well veer away from this post. But if you generally don't give a fuck about spoilers, then read away.

So, I've finished watching the new Netflix show, "Beef" and it was quite good.

So, there's this scene where Ali Wong took out a g*n out of their safe and used it to masturbate.

How?

By repeatedly cocking it and pulling the trgger with an empty magazine. She had it near her face, as if she's purring to the gn like a cock near her mouth. As if she was teasing it.

The cocking and her pulling the tr*gger near her pussy turned her on too much she was like in a trance.

The clicking, was like her clit being flicked by a tongue.

She was masturbating without being aggressive but you know she loved danger, she loved the rush, she loved the thrill.

Later on in the mini-series, her husband reminded her of that moment she was seen with the g*n. They were in an argument and she admitted to masturbating with it because she thought their sex was "vanilla".

She proved she liked a bit of the S&M after a few episodes.

I for one, admit that I only like vanilla as my scent and as a flavor, but never the sex.

Watching that made me think of inanimate objects that are remotely sexual that we use to masturbate.

Let me share mine.

For those who have read my previous posts, I think you already have an idea what it is.

A pen.

Yup, a pen.

When I was in highschool, I used to rub my pen onto my nipple and get myself to cum in class.

How I discreetly turn myself on when I'm bored or I'm stressed out while I listen to the teacher or my professor.

I find my nipple using the end of my pen, or the cap while it's around its end, apply pressure to it, and move it around as subtly as possible so I won't end up having an audience (if I'm not in the mood), and once my nipple's hard, I cross my arms holding my pen in one hand and move it across my uniform, changing pressures, direction, and speed.

I'd do this until I end up crossing my legs to put pressure on my clit, so that I could cum.

I tiptoe on the floor while I sat down.

And feel my pussy clench and unclench.

I'd blush. Sometimes someone would notice, sometimes none at all.

I've masturbated using a pen while a clinical instructor was talking to us. I've masturbated while I was part of a practice panel for a thesis defense. I've even masturbated while I was halfway filling up a form for a radio DJ audition.

It's funny because I've even asked an ex years before to "play" with me using a pen.

I was sitting by the ER bench at around 2 or 3AM (had a 12-hour shift) then one of the nurse, someone I was dating that time, sat next to me and was checking up on me.

It was an old hospital in the middle of rice fields, so we didn't get much foot traffic and there were no cameras (given that this place barely had electricity).

There were 3 of us on duty and the other one's sleeping in the labor room.

All others hospital staff were just sitting nearby their designated wards.

I was dozing off a bit and he told me he'd wake me up using two pens.

I gave him mine (just so he can humor me), and so he then took his pen out of his pocket, and put my pen on top of my thumb as I stuck it out sideways, then placed his pen below. He held both ends, and the sadistic fuck squeezed the ends of the pens, squeezing my thumb in between.

It woke me up, yeah. It was pretty painful. But yeah... He did what he'd said, but it was petty and painful.

I was annoyed, in pain, but I was laughing.

He asked me to calm down, and I told him, I'd "play" with him so that I'd calm down.

I told him to hold his pen 1/4 from below, as it rested on his left lap, and I did "play" with it. It was in between his thumb and the side of his index finger.

I've wrapped my right hand on it and stroked it as I would with a cock. He watched as I played with it, rubbing my thumb on the cap. Doing a twisting motion, wrapping my hand around the cap. Doing it as if I was stroking, playing with his cock.

The look on his face was priceless. I saw this hard on bulging from his scrub, turned me on even more.

And whatever I was doing was edging me too, but I wanted to cum.

I whispered to his ear, "I'm gonna cum."

He asked if he could touch me, I told him he didn't have to.

I lifted my right leg up onto his left thigh. My thigh resting on his thigh. My leg in between his legs. I turned to him a bit. I leaned back, my left hand on the bench, supporting my weight, feeling my pussy clench and unclench underneath my dark green scrubs, I looked at him, took the pen from his left hand, grabbed his hand, rubbed my right thumb on his palm over and over again until I came. I rubbed vigorously as if he would rub me.

He was looking at me as if he was inside me.

I mouthed that I was cumming.

He looked at me deeply, maintaining eye contact.

I came.

He looked at me.

So deep.

As if he just filled me up, came inside me.

I was catching my breath.

I felt my cum drip down my taint, to my ass underneath my scrubs.

I smiled at him, he smiled back.

We kissed briefly and composed ourselves while we went to separate restrooms.

All because of pens.

Now, I'm curious to know stories, experiences of what you've used to masturbate (whether you violated yourself or not) that's remotely sexual.

I am genuinely curious.

I am intrigued. I want to be surprised.

Now, you might think it's sexual for me to hear:

"The pen is mightier than the sword."

Oh yes.

Oh yes, indeed.