I'll start with the fact that I'm a trans woman, lesbian, and autistic (I've learned about this one just recently). My last relationship was right before I started transitioning, over 5 years ago. Since then, I've met a few girls, but there was nothing intimate or romantic. In the end, with most of them, we mutually blocked each other. Some broke me, some left me heartbroken. My therapist keeps convincing me I'm not a bad person, and I just met the wrong people. And still, I don't know what the hell I should do. I turned 30 this year, I've been treating my depression for a couple of years now. I really did try to fix my loneliness, I did put a lot of energy into every person I've met, I was not passively waiting for a miracle, I was doing my part as best as I could. And all that for nothing. Literally nothing. I just don't know what's the point of living this kind of life (don't worry, I'm not suicidal, just philosophical) if literally everyone I've met and liked has put a knife in my back (I even call myself a hedgehog). I feel like I'm not wanted, people easily forget about me, and replace me with someone else. It really hurts to live like this.