I feel like I don't have people to talk to about my deconstruction process. I am starting to learn how many holes there are in the stories of Christianity but I also feel immense guilt with the possibility of going to hell if I am wrong. I feel like I need guidance to know what is true and what is not. There are not anyone in my life that is in the same place as me. All of my friends and family are Christian and they do not know that I am deconstructing. I see myself as being agnostic with a spiritual mindset. I do believe that there is some sort of spiritual or intuitive world that exists around us but I just do not understand the scope of it. I have applied to seminary in hopes of getting answers. Just like another person on this app, I am intrigued by Pagan beliefs and witchcraft but because of my Christian upbringing I am often scared that I'm doing a really bad thing by exploring it and trying to write spells. As many of you know which craft is seen as one of the worst things in the world according to Christians so when I am exploring it I often feel a lot of guilt or fear that I am doing the wrong thing but I am also so fascinated with it. I love the idea of being connected to mother Earth and using the Earth to guide me and my spell making.