(Sorry for the long vent, just needed to get it out.) I don't even know how to start this. I'll give you the context first I guess.

Me and my partner of 5 months have not properly talked for over a month. She moved from her family home over almost two months ago to live with her grandma because of her very toxic living situation that was worsening her anxiety. Since then she was hanging with her grandma alot, we would message a bit but overtime I would just get a message in the morning and night, then I'd only get a message at night.

Not only that but before we would hang out on the weekend and even have a movie night. And that hasn't happened either. Then more recently, over the course of my holiday (15th-21st of July) I sometimes wouldn't even wake up to a message from her.

Fast forward to the 27th where she still hasn't replied to the messages from my holiday that I sent her and I was so happy to show her all the things I've gotten, she loves seeing what I get usually. And then she says she doesn't think she can do this anymore, she says she hasn't been able to get her anxiety meds recently and that she ran out(her social battery drains if she doesn't have them). Since that Friday she didn't message me at all until yesterday where she told me she still hasn't gotten her meds but made an appointment to hopefully get them soon. Also saying she doesn't have the energy to discuss our situation with me yet.

I'm just feeling so empty, she doesn't know if we should take a break or end completely as she doesn't see it working out and she wants better for me. But she was my everything, we're both switches and pets so you can gather that that comes with us connecting on a lot of things. I don't know what to do, what's going to happen or how to feel. I've cried once since trying to accept that she's gonna leave me and that atleast I had a positive relationship for once and I feel the tears welling up again. I've also been trying to get affection and attention from others and I just feel so ashamed and like I'm using myself and I hate it...

I just want things to be okay again...

If you got this far (also why are you still here??) thank you for reading..I just needed to get this out in the only way I knew possible. (Sorry for the long vent, just needed to get it out.)